[已批改]作文 1：我的正确选择

我这一生没有面对过这么难的抉择。很久以一年前，我需要在年终假期选择要去拜访问我的祖母，还是或和我的朋友们到中国进行浸濡活动。这俩个选择都很难选决定，因为我只可以选择一个日期都很相近。

去年小六考结束后，学校决定让我们毕业班组组团到中国进行浸濡活动。当时，我的一家人决定要到日本访问我的祖母。浸濡活动和拜访的日期相近，我因此所以不能等到参加浸濡活动过后才拜访我的祖母。浸濡活动的小册子说我们可以到香港迪士尼乐园，一个地方我一直和我的父母说我要到一直都想要去的地方。我和朋友一定会玩得很开心，也可以学到很多东西。

如果我到我的祖母的家，我可以看到我的表弟和祖母 。我每年只能看到他们一年一次。每一次我到日本，我和表弟都会玩得很开心。因为由于我左右为难（或者“犹豫不决”），我便问了妈妈的意见。 妈妈这么地说道：“祖母很老了，如果现在不去拜访她，以后可能再也不能了。如果你一直真的很想要到迪士尼乐园玩，我们还是可以到日本的迪士尼乐园。表弟和祖母也可以一起去！”

最后，我选择要去拜访问祖母。我认为我做了正确的选择，因为迪士尼乐园随时都可以去，可是一年只见面一次的祖母如果今年没有看见我，一定会很失望。更巧的是，当朋友们回来时，竟向我抱怨说要去迪士尼乐园的那天下了大雨，所以他们最终不能去不了迪士尼乐园， 只好等到下次去香港时才去了。

我的日记5 - 我最近刚看的一部戏

我最近刚看的一部戏
我最近刚看的一部戏是名叫《《Liar Game 2 Finale》》 的日本制作。

这部戏是关于一位名叫”Kanzaki Nao“ 的女子。 一天，她收到了一个邀请，让她玩叫”Liar Game“的游戏。由于她天真与无知，她便向一个叫”Shinchi Akiyama“的专业骗子求助。这个游戏的赢家可以获得很多的奖金，而输家却会负债累累。在这部戏里，Kanzaki Nao 一直被其他的参赛者骗。但是，Shinchi Akiyama 一直会帮她想办法赢回钱。这次，他们玩一个叫”Garden of Eden“的游戏。 参赛者需要选择一个金苹果，银苹果或红苹果。如果全部的参赛者选择红平果，大家都会获得一百万日币。但是，如果有人选择金或银苹果，选择红苹果的人就会各输一百万日币。在这种情形下，选择金和银苹果的人会互相比较，看选哪一个颜色的人比较多，哪一方便会各赢两百万日币。最后，Kanzaki Nao 和 Shinchi Akiyama 都赢了不少钱。因为他们善良的性格，他们最后把赢的钱都还给负债者。

我喜欢这部戏因为 Shinchi Akiyama 用了很多意想不到的方法来赢。他们也把赢来的钱都还给负债者。这让我了解做人不可以太贪心的道理。

成语

成语：回头是岸
意思：repent and be saved
造句：虽然小华犯了大错，可是只要他肯改过自心，回头是岸。

我的日记4 - 写我最喜欢的电子游戏

写我最喜欢的电子游戏
我最喜欢的电子游戏是 “Grand Chase“。”KOG“ 是一个制作 Grand Chase 的韩国游戏公司。Grand Chase 是一个网络游戏。 网络用户可以通过不同国家的服务器 ，比如菲律宾还有美国，与其他的玩家玩这个游戏。以前，新加坡也有一个服务器，但是最近，新加坡的服务器因为没有赚足够的钱而被关闭。
这个游戏最令我喜欢的部分是 ”PVP“。 PVP 的意思是和其他的玩家打架。PVP 可以让多达6个玩家一起打架。玩家们可以选择12个不同的战士。这12个战士有不同的阶级， 不同阶级的战士会使用不同的武器和魔术。 KOG 在未来的日子还会多创造不同的战士。
不只是 PVP，Grand Chase 还有地牢部分。这个部分，多达4个玩家可以一起到地牢和怪物打架。在地牢里，玩家们可以在游戏里获得项目，象盔甲和武器。不同的盔甲和武器可以让玩家们提高战士的强力。

 


成语

成语： 一 箭双雕
意思：kill two birds with one stone
造句：如果我们这样做，一定可以一箭双雕。

My Journal Posting 5 - Write about a typical day at home during this holiday period.

Posting 5: Write about a typical day at home during this holiday period.
[Because my typical day at home during this holiday period is extremely boring and I am only able to give one or two sentences, I changed the topic to my typical Saturday]

Every Saturday, I would wake up to prepare for my Ballet Wushu lessons. I would pack my leotard,long pants, ballet shoes, my orange Wu Shu shirt, long Wu Shu pants and Wu Shu belt. I would also bring along my Wu Shu sword. After packing, I willwould take the bus service number 961 to Bukit Merah for my Ballet lesson.

After the Ballet lesson, I would walk to Redhill MRT Station to take the MRT to Bishan for my Wu Shu lesson. Before my Wu Shu lesson, I would eat my dinner, which would normally be a nice plate of chicken rice with soup.

One timeThere was one interesting incident where the sword I carried was mistaken for a dangerous weapon by the security. Luckily, they found out (how did they find out?) that it was a misunderstanding.

At Wu Shu, the coach would train us till our legs shiver tremble due to fatigue. Although my leg would be extremely sore and painful the next day, I still choose to attend my Wu Shu lesson because it trains me both physically and mentally.



Idiom of the day
Idiom: dwindle away
Meaning: to shrink, contract, or diminish to something
Sentence: The small flame dwindled away into nothing.

My Journal Posting 4 - Write about a typical day out training for your golf CCA.

Posting 4: Write about a typical day out training for your golf CCA.

A typical day out training for my golf CCA is very fun to me. It is not when the training starts, but before it. On the school day itself, my golf friends and I would discuss about who would follow another. I usually go with Brandon. Every Wednesday, he would carry his bulky golf bag to school. Before the training starts, I would carry his golf bag for him to the MRT station and travel to Promenade station, which is near his house. After that, we would take a bus to his house. During transportation, we would chat and sometimes fight about small issues. Before our training, which starts at four pm,we had two hours to get to the location. When we reach his house, it would usually be around 2.30 pm. In his house, we would whip out our MacBooks and surf the net while eating our lunch. Around 3.30 pm, Brandon's mother would send us to Laguna Golf Course with her car. At the training site, we have to register our attendance at the club house and take a card which allows us to collect golf balls for our training. We are free to take any amount of balls as we are sponsored by a well known bank, OCBC. After taking golf balls, I would borrow Brandon's golf club and start to practice driving the balls till our coach arrives.Usually at the end of the lesson, my hands would be red and sore. Although the journey to the golf course is rather inconvenient, my time at the training is worth all the trouble.




Idiom of the day
Idiom: A penny for your thoughts
Meaning:This idiom is used as a way of asking someone what they are thinking about.
Sentence: A penny for your thoughts?

[已批改] 我的日记 2

我的日记
请贴上新闻报道的网址。嘉义县义消总队朴子凤凰志工分队成员，在早上七点登人座游览车，要到阿里山邹族文化园游览。在九点半，当游览队行经阿里山公路加油站时，游览车发生车祸。
警方表示，油于未知原因，游览车撞上了山，然后停在路旁电线杆。 受伤人员在医院有？？3名女性到院前已丧失心肺功能，也有四人重伤、二十二人轻伤。



成语

成语：对牛弹琴

意思：reasoning with a stubborn person

造句：不 管我说什么，跟他讨论这个问题就像在对牛弹琴。

我的日记 3

我的日记



成语

成语：

意思：

造句：

[Commented] Story Summary 4

Summary
Arthur iswas married to Pamela, a wealthy woman. They invited the Snapes only because they arewere good bridge players and havehad honest bets. All of the suddenOn one occasion, Pamela suggested wants to bugbugging the Snapes' guest room. Arthur objectsed intitally but was finally (consider the use of the word subsequently)  persuaded. After bugging the room with a microphone, the guests arrived. During the game of bridge, Sally, the wife, makesmade a mistake and left a dent in their game. After the dinner, Pamela and Arthur listenslistened to the recording. They found out that theythe Snapes arewere discussing about a bidding code that tellsthey used to signal the other person all about the cards in their hands. Pamela then asksasked the Snapes if they could learn to do it.

[Language expression is generally fine; the main attention should still be on your tenses - all should be past tense. Please take note, do the corrections on this same post and remove my red wordings.]


Idiom of the day
Idiom: Bend Over Backwards
Meaning: willing to do anything
How to use in a sentence: I am willing to bend over backwards to regain your trust.

[Commented]Story Summary 3 Man From the South

Summary [Leeroy, take note of the consistency of tenses: all should be in past tense]
The narrator iswas relaxing near a pool at a Jamaican hotel when he encountersed a short, South American man in a white suit and cream Panama hat. Then, an American boy and an English girl appearsed and offersed them a cigarette.After lighting up their cigarettes, the American boy bragged about how his lighter always lights.The man asked if he was willing to bet on it and the boy agreesd to bet a dollar.
The man pondersed for a while and offersed to have a larger bet. If the boy could lights his lighter ten times in a row, the man willwould give him a car. If he could not, the man willwould cut off the little boy's little finger on his left hand. After much contemplation, the boy acceptsed the bet. They all gowent up to the old man's room where he getsgot ready for the bet. The boy's hand iswas tied to a desk and the man iswas holding a chopping knife ready to cut off the finger. After eight successful lights, the door flings flung open and a woman shakesshook the man while yelling in Spanish. She apologized and told everyone that she should not have left him alone as he had already taken forty seven fingers where they came from.She managed to win all of his belongings but it took a long time. The car he betted on was actually her's. When retrieving her car keys, the narrator seessaw that she only havehad a thumb and a finger on one of her hand.

[Language and expression were generally fine, but you have to take note of the tenses]


Idiom of the day
Idiom: A Slap on the Wrist
Meaning:Mild Punishment
How to use in a sentence: If Mr Tan finds out, he would give us a slap on the wrist!

私函一：

题目：住在美国的姑姑前阵子病倒了，你有意去美国探望她。试写一封信给姑姑，问候她近来的身体健康情况，并了解美国目前的天气情况，以便让你准备行李。[你也可以问姑姑是否需要你从新加坡替她带点什么过去] (200-250 字）

作者姓名一律用刘东明（地址：全义路10 号， 新加坡油区248922）。如有需要， 对方姓名一律用李爱玲（地址：道德路16 号， 美国油区12345678）

Composition Writing 2:

Write about an incident regarding someone who had a great disappointment that turned out to be a blessing in disguise. (250 to 350 words)


"Help! Thief!" I yelled. With no other choice, I chased after the thief. The nightmare of losing my project I worked hard on might be happening. He ran as fast as he could and I tried to keep up. After passing a few void decks, I fought with him head on. He threw kicks and punches but I managed to dodge them. I grabbed my bag but eventually, he released my grasp on the bag after giving me a few kicks. With fury, I stood up with the intention to continue my chase. However, my foot slipped and I fell. My ankle had a shooting pain and I clutched it. The intense pain made me squint and howl. After trying my best to stand up, I hobbled to the side of the road and flagged for a taxi to return home.

The next day, my father helped me report to the police and my mother brought me to the hospital to check on my foot. Luckily, the x-ray showed that no bones were broken. The doctor told me that I had to rest at home for 2 weeks to heal my wounds.

" Am  I still able to visit Aunt Mary in Malaysia?" I questioned.

"Unfortunately, no." my mother replied. I had never missed a chance to go visit Aunt Mary as the soups she cooked up tasted heavenly. She had always been giving me nice presents whenever I visit her. Cousin Zack and I always had lots of fun playing together. This cursed robbery ruined my entire holiday, gave me an injury, wasted a bus ticket to Malaysia and took away my precious project.

These two weeks were horrible as I could not get around without a crutch. Although I could still walk with the crutch, there was a constant shooting pain at my ankle. Whenever my foot was itchy, I could not ease it because of the bulky cast. Bathing became a chore and getting around was extremely slow. The worst part of all, I could not play my favourite sports with my friends. The only way I pacify myself was to watch the cartoon channels on the television. In a few days, I became a couch potato.

Around the second week, I happened to glance at the newspaper. There was an article which shocked me completely. The bus that was heading to Malaysia, the exact one which I had the ticket for, was involved in a serious accident. Suddenly, I felt extremely thankful for my "cursed" ankle.

［已批改]我的日记 1

我的日记 http://realtime.zaobao.com.sg/2010/12/101208_47.shtml
在十二月八日，一个炸弹在巴基斯坦西北爆炸，造成了十五人死亡和二十五人受伤。
 警方们认为炸弹是被放进一辆车停在巴士站。警察在现场找到了自杀式炸弹袭击者被炸掉的头部和肢体。炸弹是在附近巴士车门而爆炸。


词句流畅， 是一个好的开始，希望你至少保持这种水平，并从这里慢慢进步。
尝试选择较长的新闻报道，会帮助你的理解能力，也让你有更多练习创作词句的空间。



成语

成语：一毛不拔

意思：Stingy

造句：对 好朋友要相当大方，而不是一毛不拔。

[Commented] My Journal Posting 3

[Commented] Journal Post
To counter sexual harassment, Malaysia started a women-only buses service which gives the women of Malaysia the option of travelling separately from men. The bus company of the state, RapidKL, started the bus service on Wednesday on seven routes during peak hours. The bus service was opened due to the feedback from female customers who was uncomfortable during peak-hour travel.
Ms Poovan Kaur, 63, said that she feel safer not because she distrust men, but it is hard for someone her age to fight for space during peak hours. [Good]



Idiom of the day
Idiom: Under the weather
Meaning: Feel sick
Sentence: I missed a day of school as I was feeling under the weather.

[Commented] My Journal Posting 2

Journal Post : http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/World/Story/STIStory_607943.html
A woman from Spain had registered the Sun as her property.
Ms Angeles Duran, 49, registered it after reading about an American man who registered the moon and most planets in our Solar System as his property.
There is an international agreement which states that no country may claim ownership of a planet or star, but it says nothing about individuals.
Ms Duran, said that she wants to charge everyone who uses the sun and give half of the money earned to the Spanish government, twenty percent to the nation pension fund, 10 percent to research and another ten percent to end world hunger, keeping the remaining 10 percent for herself.

Idiom of the day
Idiom:Pulling Your Leg
Meaning:Tricking someone as a joke
Sentence:There is not going to be a surprise test today, I was just pulling your leg!

新闻缩写 1

[已批改] 新闻缩写
 在市清平南路的网吧有个爆炸情形。有六个人死亡，三十七个人受伤。炸弹把网吧炸了一无所有。贵州省公安厅正在尝试辩认造成爆炸的炸弹类型。

附近两栋居民楼的玻璃被因爆炸而打破裂。爆炸引发大火，把网吧里的物件烧掉毁。目前，贵州省公安厅还不知到发生爆炸时网吧内有多少人员。

成语

成语：塞 翁失马

意思：Blessing in disguise

造句：这场意外的发生说不定是塞翁失马，焉知非福呢。

[已批改] 故事缩写 2

故事缩写
小时后，作者有一个难忘的儿时玩伴，名字是续源。他比作者大两岁，是作者的邻居，也是作者的好朋友。小时候，作者和他读同一间学校，他们一起上学和下学。因为作者当时长得很瘦弱，常常被欺负。但是，如果作者被欺负，续源便会保护他。久而久之，同学们不敢欺负作者了。有一次，作者续源玩耍时不小心跌伤了脚，不能走路。续源背了作者，送他回家。
后来，续源一家人就般家了，作者的一家人也正好般家。自从般家后，作者和续源就失去了联系。




成语

成语：偷工减料

意思：cheat in work and cut down materials

造句：不管生产什么产品，都不能偷工减料。

[已批改] 故事缩写 1

故事缩写
今天，老师会分华文试卷给同学们。当小明从向老师拿回试卷时，小明他不敢相信他自己只拿了五十一分。在他回家的途中，他小明不知道要如何对告诉父母说这个坏消息。于是，在他回家的途中，他想到了一个歪注意。
回家时，小明撒了慌，对他的妈妈说他考到了九十一分。但是当他走进房里时，小明感到很后悔。经过了一番思考，小明决定把真相告诉妈妈。妈妈听了后，骂了小明。小明惭愧的说对不起。经过这次的教训，小明在再也不敢撒谎了。




成语

成语：

杞 人忧天
意思：Not to worry

造句：天 气这么好，你带伞出门真是杞人忧天了。

[Commented] My Journal Posting 1

Journal Post :http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/lifestylenews/view/1096785/1/.html
A primary school in Germany is now supporting chewing gum in class in order to improve their grades. Chewing gum is good for the children's health and improves their thinking. 
Headmaster Hans Dasch told AFP that nobody was forced to chew gum. Chewing gum is also good for dental health as the children was unable to brush their teeth at the school and it helps children deal with stress. However, children must keep their mouth closed while chewing and  they must dispose of the gum when speaking.
Each desk at the school is equipped with a container specially made by the students to dispose the gums when necessary.
Idiom of the day
Idiom:Foam at the Mouth
Meaning: Being angry and showing it.
Sentence: She was foaming at the mouth when she found out that her son was smoking.

[Commented] Composition 1 [Secret Door]

 “Leeroy and Isaac, can you help me to carry these stacks of books to the staff room?” Mister Tan said. Isaac and I stood up, carried the stacks of books and sped up the stairs. We reached the entrance of the staff room early as Mister Tan had not reached yet. After a short conversation, I noticed a small pathway. [where is this small pathway? beside the staffroom entrance? please describe accordingly]

“What is this?” I questioned as I pointed towards the direction of the pathway.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never seen this before. Let’s go find out.” Isaac replied. At the end of the pathway was a large, metal door, like those of a bomb shelter. It had a ventilation grill above the door and a huge locking mechanism but was locked-up with the a number lock like the other staff room doors. The iron door had started to rust due to some scratches on the white paint. It was mysterious as there was no other door like this around. [good to describe] We felt intrigued [good use of word] and tried to see what was inside by reaching out jumping and peeking through to the ventilation grill but we were not tall enough. We decided to ask around about the door the next day. We were determined to find out more about this mysterious secret door.

The next day, we asked several students and teachers, including Mister Tan about the door. Some students gave ridiculous answers, such as it contained a ghost being haunted. The teachers did not know what was inside and told us that it was would be better if we did not poke stop poking around. However, our classmate, Jeff, said that if we wanted to know what was inside, we could. He said that he knew the password of every staff room door and that door may have the same code too. [why did Jeff have the pass code?] We decided to meet up after school to crack the mystery.

After school,  Jeff, Isaac and I rushed up to the floor where  the iron door was. Isaac and I had to look out for any teachers passing by while Jeff inputs the code. “CLINK! SCREEECH!” The door screeched as Jeff opened the door. It was surprising that no teachers noticed us due to the loud sound. We were excited and peered into the darkness. We stepped into the room cautiously. “Ouch!” I said as I bump into something. “What is this?”

“Hey! What are you kids doing here?” a voice bellowed. When we turned around, we saw our school janitor. “Get out of the janitor closet now!” he ordered.

[371 words ]

[Commented] Article Summary 2

Summary
Twenty-eight-year-old Mohammed Hussein, the leader of his gang, attacked Rashvin Ravindran together with his gang with a knife. (its better to give details of the gang at the first line, like how many members are there: 13 as you mentioned towards the end of the summary) The director of the assault, Hussein, attacked Rashvin after a member of his group accused Rashvin of calling his friend a "dog". They atttacked him (attacked who? better to mention the name Rashvin here as it is a new sentence) before he could reply (explain/clarify might be a better word). Rashvin was so badly injured that he had to be sent to a hospital. The gang was equipped with knives and a knuckle duster. The 13 youths, aged between 14 and 21, were charged with the crime.
Besides these (please explain what you meant by "these"), Hussein was caught once with a sickle and a flick knife in his flat.
For these crimes, Hussein could have been (wrong use of tense: future perfect tense or future tense?) jailed up to 10 years with caning.

Idiom of the day
Idiom:Dark Horse
Meaning: Someone who was unknown is now prominent.
Sentence: Micheal, a dark horse of the competition, already beaten five other opponents.

[Commented] Article Summary 1

Summary
http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/afp_asiapacific/view/1096623/1/.html

China says 2010 pollution goal met
China has met its 2010 target to cut emissions and is on the way to meeting its energy efficiency goal.
China last week acknowledged last week that it was emitting most of the climate change, even more than United States. China's efforts (what effort?) enabled savings of 490 million tonnes of coal and stopped  carbon dioxide emissions of 1.13 billion tonnes.The emissions (from where? Is it China?) has fallen by ten percent. China wanted aims to reduce energy consumption by 20% by 2005 and by 40-45% by 2020. China, however repeatedly refused to agree to firm emission cuts (why?).


Idiom of the day
Idiom: in good time
Meaning:within a reasonable period of time
Sentence: Max did not worry that he would not receive it by Tuesday or Wednesday, as he knew it would come in good time.

[Commented] Story Summary 2:

Summary
Lamb to slaughter

Mary Maloney was a diligent housewife who was pregnant.
Every night, she waits (please check carefully) excitedly for her husband , Patrick, to return from his job at
the police station. This night however, he was behaving unusually. (important: what is the bad news?) After hearing the bad news, Mary was so shocked that she was bewildered.
In a daze, she walked towards the freezer and took out the lamb leg.
Without warning, she hit the back of Patrick's head, killing him.
Fearing that her child would have to suffer for her crimes, she planned her alibi.
She went to cooked the lamb leg and headed to the grocery store to buy some food for "Patrick's supper".
Returning home (she did not "discover" her husband when she was Returning, but when she returned home, please change accordingly), she let out a cry and call (please check carefully) the police.
Within hours, police officers are (please check carefully) investigating his (either use "Patrick" or "the") murder. While the police are (please check carefully) searching for the murder weapon, Mary offers(please check carefully) them some lamb she had prepared for supper. They were persuaded as they was (please check carefully) very hungry. (One question for you: what is the queerness or ironic effect that the author wanted to bring out in the last part?)



Idiom of the day
Idiom: An Arm And A Leg
Meaning:Very expensive. A large amount of money.
How to use in a sentence: That beautiful house will cost me an arm and a leg.

[Commented] Story Summary 1: Roald Dahl- Tales of the Unexpected [Taste] [C]

Mike Schofield, a stock broker, invited the narrator and a gourmet, Richard Pratt, to his dinner party. Richard has a special ability was able to identify wine by its taste and smell. Before,On the previous few occasions when they had dinner together, when Richard dined with Mike, they always betted on whethermade a bet which was if Richard could identify the wine served and  Richard had always won.

This night, Mike think that he would be able to win the bet this time by serving a extremely rare wine. At the dinner, they decided to bet again. If Mike won, he would receive two of Richard's house. If Richard won, he would receive the hand of Mike's daughter, Louise, in marriage. After tasting the wine, Richard managed to get the correct answer. Then, the house maid appeared and passed Richard a pair of spectacles, claiming that he misplaced it in Mike's study. The study was where Richard told Mike to place his wine.
147 Words

Story Summary 1: Roald Dahl- Tales of the Unexpected [Taste]

Mike Schofield, a stock broker, invited the narrator and a gourmet,Richard Pratt , who could identify wine by its taste and smell. Several dinners before this, Richard and Mike had a bet that if Richard could identify the wine served in which Pratt have always won. That night, Schofield prepared a special, rare wine in which made him believe that Pratt could not identify. At the dinner, they both decided to bet that if Schofield won, he would receive two of Pratt's houses and if Pratt won, he would receive the hand of Mike's daughter,Louise in marriage. After tasting the wine, Pratt managed to get the correct answer. Then, the house maid appeared and passed a pair of spectacles to Pratt, saying that he misplaced it in Schofield's study where Pratt told Schofield to put his wine when he went in by himself that night.

[145 Words]