A few years ago, I had a life-changing experience. At that time, I was in a small clique which consists of three other boys whose names were John, Michael and Shawn. In the previous year, my parents dished out quite the money for my new handheld console, the 'Game Boy'. I would usually brag to my classmates about getting my new equipment. I slowly became intolerable and many of my friends started ignoring me. I had no problem with this as I felt that as long as I had my Game Boy, I did not need anything else. At that time, I was hooked on my favorite game and neglected my studies. Not before long, my grades started deproving.
A few month before a major exam, while everyone was busy revising, I could not stop playing my games. One day, my friends discussed about studying together.
"Hey Bryan, do you want to study together this afternoon?" John asked.
" I cannot, I'm too busy this afternoon. " I replied.
My friends all looked at me with a weird look. I guessed they knew I was going home to play my game console.
"Bryan, you have to stop playing your games. Our major exam is coming. " Shawn said.
At that time, I felt angry. I felt they had no right to tell me what to do. After school, instead of following them, I ran towards the nearby canal to let off steam.
At the lake, I sat on the grassy patch next to the running water, thinking about what Shawn said. After a while, I got frustrated. Then, I noticed a rock near the lake and immediately got up to kick it. Unfortunately, my leg slipped and I fell. My Game Boy in my bag fell out and dropped into the fast running water. I got up and chased after my game console. Afterwards, I managed to retrieve my game console, but it was dripping wet. It was there that I decided to stop playing my games and start revising for my exams.
After the major exam, my Game Boy console was finally dry and safe to turn on. It was the most satisfying period of time playing my games and I was glad that I dropped my game console into the water. I learnt to play and study at the appropriate time. It was a life-changing experience.
[397 words]
Good to be finishing this piece of work on time. Please also remember to correct your own grammatic, spelling and tenses errors and highlight them in red.
ReplyDeleteThe flow of the story is good. However the main incident that happened (which is the accidental drop of the game console into the river)which made you realise the importance of knowing the right time to play and work seems a little too short and brief to amount to an 'experience'.
It is necessary to take this into consideration as it directly impacts the RELEVANCE of your story to the title.
I think you can generally express well in English but would still like you to write expressions which you are SURE are right instead of what you think SHOULD BE right.
Please do edit and I look forward to the completion of your Chinese practice. =)